Be Yourself

"Be yourself", people say! Have you really ever thought about it? What it actually means? I'm not questioning the proverb. Let me give you a sneak-peak into what I feel the fuss is all about. Ever since we were born, our parents have imparted their values and virtues. As we grew up, society has taught us or have been influential upon our character building. There were things that the World taught us and then some of it, etched by Time. We follow some/all religiously without questioning. Stability means holding on to something, anything! We become an adult and tread on our own venture. Throughout the journey, we've always been told to either "Be Yourself" or "Behave Yourself" by someone in someway. It happens to all of us at some point of time or many. Such a Conformist, this Society is! Everyone keeps yapping the same wretched proverb, sprint the same rat-race, but do they even comprehend what they speak of or what they're doing? All our lives, we've been a Student by will or against it. Our thoughts/ideologies/values/perspectives have always steered in different directions as a result of what others have opinionated/shared and by what we experience. If there's some philosophical premise you hold onto at the moment, it's what you've adopted through something. A midst all these ruckus, where is the integrity of our mind? It hasn't been Original at all. It's the result of the bondage to everything around us since birth. Our mind is occupied with too many things that pleasure us in someway or the other. I don't say the original/unique thought never comes to mind. It does, but only when the mind is free, which isn't a walk in the park. We naturally seek a thought process that suits the best with the characteristics of our nature(which again is an implementation of all our life experiences, Experienced or Borrowed!) and we stick to it. Isn't that the case, always? Now, don't you think, whenever you tell someone to "Be yourself", it should put that person in a pensive mode to first find out what he was, in the first place? A learner! Correct, now it's his call whether or not he chooses to learn the situation that stands in front of him. It's that simple! When all our values have been an interpretation of the Nature upon us, who're we to insinuate what's right or wrong? 

This post was inspired by a person I know who met with an accident, and has always done outrageous things.(No exaggeration!) A total Rebel! I concluded, thinking it's not his mistake, it's his individuality. Towards the end, we all have to kick the dirt! You DON'T really matter unless you stand up to something or engrave your deeds on the Timeless Memory of this World.

Because,

Being a Bombayite is not something which you can learn to be without getting pushed around in a local train(First Class is no exception, in fact it’s worse!), not standing in a long queue for rubber-stretched-time, to board a transport bus or rickshaws. One has to wake up and leave the house at least 2 hour before schedule to reach on time. The Life here is fast-paced like the Fit-to-fill effect. People move on, not everyone will have time to stand and watch if something goes wrong. If you find some people doing that, it’s obvious, they’re either jobless or just want to be there for no apparent reason. It’s true, this is a place where dreams do come true. Dreams of those who conjoin the composure and crankiness into one. You look around and be amazed as to how much people can tolerate and gradually move forward in their path and are apparently content with it. It’s like they either lack the driving force or have succumbed to their tentative estate. Everything is interconnected, Yes! It sure is. Dreams are dreamed by many but few break free of the illusive bond, the society has imposed on them. Our dream is a result of our failure in something, someplace, sometime, which is now doubled, to drive a new dream. So, failure is never an end, in fact it’s a way of power-steering our Life. The now “Mumbai” has a certain blatant halo on top of it. This is a place where languages can be so altered you’ll forget the actual one. Best thing about this place is everyone understands what you’re about to say. Somehow, people already know what’s going on in your head. This city is not the one with a laid back lifestyle. Everything is perpetual and in continuity. You can compare the lifestyle of any other city in India, Bombay(Mumbai) will turn out to be different. Not everyone can digest it and enjoy it. If you plan on taking a tour around the city, a day is not sufficient to bask in the amazing tradition of this place. We dream BIG, we will buy stuffs that please us. We don’t let the mundane event of everyday life stop. Of course, we crib, we bitch. Still, we’ll keep moving forward until we perish in the Sands of Time.

The Black & White Thing Called Life!

This, I'm writing oblivious of the future and how things are gonna be. We've heard the saying, "The meaning of Life is Life itself". Struck by the bitter truth of Life, I began to ponder why the attachment to fellow humans when we know nothing lasts forever. This post is provoked by My Mother's tears. She cried missing her Parents, who're no more. Her words, "Until the Mother is alive, she keeps all the children together. After her time, not always the siblings stay together. They go their separate ways". I asked, "Are you missing them?". She nodded, "Yes". I let her find comfort in my hug. Tried to console her saying we can cry over it, sadly. that's all we can do. Let it all out and continue doing our work. Told her, Father and I will be there for her, yet not forever. Life teaches many things, but this part of feeling absence of someone close to our heart, is sheerly overwhelming and there's no easy way around it. Many things can be taken in a sporting stride, but the absence of our loved ones. You can live your life and be caught up with your own Jazz. Still, the S.O.A.B emotion will track and hunt you down like a merciless beast. One often succumbs to "that" feeling when they're either alone or with their loved ones. Paradoxical, isn't it? We miss, We cry for a loved one, finding a feeling of "My own" on a special person's arms. Life is a lot many thing, every situation relates to the Life as whole. Life acts as an Inanimate object wearing a Poker-face. You can think whatever you want, eventually you realize you've been having an opinion, that's all. What we think never mattered to Life. Living by our own rules would at least be a small mercy on ourselves. There's nothing we can do to 'undo" things. The cycle of Life is an inevitable one and thoughts otherwise is futile. It's against the law of nature. This is one of the many things you can't expect to have a solution for. You live your life to the fullest and forget the rest. Acceptance is the only way to embrace the bitter truth in Life. I wrote this to remind me in Future that I once had this pragmatic thought. This would snap me back to reality.

And, it happened...

It all started with a naughty misunderstanding. My best friend had signed in through her account and we chatted on Facebook. Suddenly, a reply from her side took a profane turn. At first, I thought it can't be her. Repetitive usage of cuss words assured the doubt. It was my Best Friend. Then, she came on chat and apologized. Overloading on Sorry, I asked her to calm down and assured I didn't feel bad. She breathed a sigh of relief. I'd met her once before at the same Best Friend's house. She looked lost yet calm in a strange way. Her eyes gleamed by the reflection of the street lamp. She never spoke a word. She appeared adorable the way she was.

Days passed by chatting and talking about random stuffs and the usual getting-to-know-the-other-person mode was ON. I told her about my funny past experiences with girls and how I was completely out of the "Date Zone" presently. One of the chats we exchanged on 31st October, 2011, She said "talkin' about hot girls, calm down, don't worry, tujhe mil jaegi jaldi" (Never thought it'd be her.) Gradually, she started sharing about her past and the bitter experience she tasted. I was being her confidant. The phone calls used to last more than sleep itself. Selective Nocturnal-ism happened. Listening to her woes, slowly led me to an epiphany about her character. She was by far the woman, I dreamed of having in my Life.

I filled her ears with my feelings for her over the phone. She listened. It was 8th of December. For me, it was exciting to hear her reply. The next day, we were chatting, she asked, What did you mean by liking me? I first thought, she was joking! I poured my heart out and she never understood. The horror of rephrasing my feelings stood in front of me. I was nervous, now. I gathered courage and explained it. Told her I liked her more than a Friend. Her reply was, "Okay! I don't know what to say". I confirmed, she could take Time to think about it. But, I'll look forward to hearing a "Yes". Her decision was wound by the barbed wire of The Past. I could make out. I convinced her to take a leap of faith and that I'd never let her go. She was still confused but a little convinced. After a week's Time, she said Yes! via Text Message. I called her immediately. First question I asked "really?" She gave a giggle and softly said, "Yes". The day she said that, the feeling was Insuperable. For the first time in my life, the uncertainty of future and the shadow of the past didn't cloud my decision. I knew, I made the right choice at that Time. I was elated, so was she. We're together since. As days pass by, I fall in Love with her, an inch deeper. The sentence, I Love You, was used generously and never triggered boredom. The person I met is the one in my dreams. Although, I never imagined she'd be taller than me! *sticks out tongue* But, I guess, when it comes to Love, you just don't see all that. All I can say is, I'm sure even in future, I'll look back on this day and have No Regrets of falling for this person. The wound is just too sweet when you have that special person soothing it and gently blowing air. I could sit there and watch her all day long.

Moral Dilemma

It was on 9th of November, 2011. Until today, everything was fine according to me and was going as planned. I was without a job for 40days now, enjoying my sabbatical and my cousin had come down from Muscat. Tomorrow, they were to leave and something happened. It was in the morning around 9:30 and I was sleeping. I woke up to find my aunt talking to mom about what my other aunt had told her. She started suggesting me to come and work in Muscat/Dubai and seemingly her words were intended to convince me. First thing that hit me was, leaving everything behind. I was in a fierce overwhelming fight within myself, it was something I couldn't put forth to them in words. For me, the thought of leaving India, Music plans over here, my to-be-formed band with Veljon, My bike, My friends, Hrishi and others, Everything came in front of me. It was tough! Until now, I was interested in Music as a whole, still wasn't sure of how I plan on approaching it. I wanted to become a Musician but was too late for me to start it. Also, considering I'm from a Conservative South Indian family, my parents were quite open-minded but sadly our relatives weren't. Their constant pestering lead my parents to narrow it down on me. So, I was considering working in a studio to have a steady source of income and simultaneously do something about Music, may be learn some instrument besides Guitar since I already knew how to play it and have been in Guitaring for the past 7years.

My cousin, he tried to convince me from his side, said I could be in touch with all of them(friends). "Friends are always there. They're not gonna get you a job." Those were his mighty words. I secretly knew, he was right, but still I could never do that. To that point, although my thoughts were like building a castle out of sand as far as everything was concerned, it came to a moral epiphany. I am the guy who'll be there for my loved ones. For me life wasn't all about focussing on one aspect in particular. It was more of trying to strike a balance between all the things surrounding me. That isn't an easy task at all! Akila and few other newly made good friends, we barely got to meet. I was caught up with this dilemma as of what to do? Should I leave them behind and be like others who go abroad to work their ass off to earn a lot of money? Moral Dilemma. My eyes were on the verge of tears with the very thought. My aunt cajoled me saying, I could earn enough money, working in Muscat/Dubai, get my parents over there to stay with me. Then after 5-6 years, I can go to where my cousin would be, probably United States, and pursuit my Sound Engineering course of whatever. I don't know. I was close to having a paradigm shift in my life. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was gonna happen. So, I never respond to aunt's words and just left the room and the topic came to a lull.

Until that evening, something really good happened. All these while, I was pushed to the limit too many times and I wondered what to do. It was about time that some great driving force emerged from within and suddenly, I was more certain of what I want to do now and how to go about it. Things became more clear w.r.t my short term plan. I'd decided to stay in India and pursuit my Studio career without going abroad. By far, the most important and great decision that I took. I knew for a fact, what I'd decided would definitely work out. How can it not? I'll make it happen. I will. That was the time I was content and sort of like found "Inner Peace".

This post is basically to remind myself in future supposing the times get tough, as to what made me choose this life in the first place and how I started it all.

Social Network D(eb)ating!

FORECLOSURE

The following write is based on my observation and wasn't intended to hurt the sentiments of any Person, Animal or Thing. If he/she feels that this post is directed to them, then you know where you stand. :P

This is just a random musing about people who're a part of Social Networking.

According to Statistics(my own!), People who join any Social Networking website are,

(a) Single and Fishing

(b) Comitted and appear to be content but don't mind Fishing.

(c) for Fraandsheeep and wannabe lovers who're looking out for a hook up and end up adding all fake people.

(d) Committed but want to show everyone that they are at the same time don't mind dating someone 'better' than the current one.

(e) Jobless and may/may not be looking out for a relation.

(f) Addicted and don't mind getting into a relation

(g) Social Media Marketing/Promotion and don't give a damn about relation/ They do and already are getting a lot of action.

(e) Play games like Cityville, Farmville, Bournville(Oops, that's a chocolate! Sorry) so on and so forth. These are the types who've come right out of Twilight like Fictitious book and are looking out for a 100+ year old teenage vampire who glitters or something like that.

P.S. - Sorry if I left out on any further classification, these are the ones that came to mind now. :P

Out of all the specimen mentioned above, one thing common is evident, Fishing. These people merely use Social Networking as a medium for Dating, once they catch a fish a.k.a get 'committed' they'll disappear from Online world, some act differently by posting Lovelorn pictures with their partners and status messages.

This act of what they call it "Falling in Love" is tentative until the relationship they're in is jeopardized for a reason mainly being 'Getting Cheated On/ Dumped'. Once that happens, you can catch them online again, posting all Emo photos and sharing all Emo thoughts and broken heart pics until they find another chic and the cycle continues until '?'

Corollary 1 to the above observation, I've noticed some of them have a string of relationships who say, 'This is my True Love' every time they get into a relation. *Slut Slut* I want to have fun and not think about the future. *That's what is been on your mind all along* *Seriously?*

Corollary 2, They're all the same, I'd rather not fall for anyone and will wait for the special someone.

I'm pretty much Single and Fishing, haven't found the Right Fish, yet! :P

I'd prefer to act as Charles Darwin of the Online Dating thing, even I don't know what it'll lead to ;)

My take on Numerology

Ever pondered over why people behave the way they do? What makes them think in that manner. Their outlook on Life, their principles and how they treat others. Well, here's "One of the many possibilities" that could be apt in this case. Human mind is so vast that we can't really pin-point a particular thing and say, "That's the reason why!"

What I'm about to share here is a little bit of a personal observation and little bit of too-obvious-trait. Before that, I have to walk you guys through the earlier times where I thought Numerology was Crap, it's just manipulating people for your own benefit. That got me curious, hence I cajoled myself in finding the mystery behind it, for myself.

What is Numerology?

It's Simple. Study of Numbers and their influence on Human Beings.

P.S. It also has got something to do with Zodiac signs. Well, lets not get into that.

As the definition has it, study of numbers and it's influence on Human Beings.

Wait a minute! What numbers are you talking about? How do we know what number co-relates to us?

The answer to which could be found by "Adding Your Date Of Birth". Now, keep in mind fellas, the number-line is just from 1-9. Some of you dimwits may interject, what about 0? Talk to me when you find a person who was born on Zeroth Day.

Like I was saying, All you have to do is add your date of birth and bring it down to a Single Digit Number. My DOB is 27-11-1987. So I add all of them, it sums up to 9. Yeah, you can use your Calculator, if you're bad. ;)

There you go, now you all know what your number is.

Number - 1 (Born on 1st, 10th, 19th and 28th of any month) "The Lone Soul."

Natural Leadership qualities prominent among other characteristic traits. Quick witted and very Independent. Can be sensitive, when it comes to Family Relations. Very outgoing and loves to have fun. Because they're number 1 on the Number Line, they usually should gel along with anyone. Their anger cannot be overlooked that easily. You need a Strong person to Tame them, they just won't listen to any Johnny boy. Very aspiring, those of you who are no. 1 generally have "Grand Dream".

Number - 2 (Born on 2nd, 11th, 20th and 29th of any month) "Different individuals."

They're very focussed in their lives. No mater who they are, when it comes to setting up goals and achieving them, they're the kind of people you can look up to. Get angry quite easily and are of the types who Learn From Their Mistakes. In other words, it's pointless advising them, they won't listen to you. They're fun to hang out with. They can be selfish and even an introvert. Once again, people with High End Dreams.

Number - 3 (Born on 3rd, 12th, 21st and 30th of any month) "Where's my Money?"

I know a lot of them. In fact, I've been around enough No. 3 people to tell one thing which is common and a trait On-The-Dot, They are Money-minded individuals. No matter what they do, who they talk to, Money is One of the many things that would be circling in their head All The Time. They're homely, fun, adventurous, a great friend(Money may put it's leg in between, so better have your Money matters squeaky clean with these people). They move on. One thing I admire in them. They can be strong-willed in certain aspects of life but can be submissive at times.

P.S. If gets married to no. 7, they'll be dominated by 7.(Then again, exceptions are always there.)

Number - 4 (Born on 4th, 13th, 22nd and 31st of any month) "Management is my Forté."

Angry young Men/Women. Don't want to mess with them. But easily forgiving as well. One of the best friends you can find, I know because I know A LOT of them, so yeah. Very outgoing and have an Amazing confidence level. They have a high thinking towards things and are usually humble and imaginative. Carry out the task well. Take their work seriously. Party harder. Have got a good sense of humor, Passionate Lovers. Creativity pours out of their mind. Self-Righteous people.

Number - 5 (Born on 5th, 14th and 23rd of any month) "The Neutral One."

Very neutral on the Number Line so yeah will gel with both of them. Can be a good mediator a midst a conversation. Good listeners. Innovative ideas, simple living. Selfish people as far as what I noticed. I maybe wrong.

Number - 6 (Born on 6th, 15th and 24th of any month) "The Angry Birds."

Very short-tempered people, trust me when I say, you don't want to get on a wrong note with them. Hasty with words but generally won't mean it, but that ends up causing ripples in their relationship. Sincere and Hard workers, tough to find that combo these days. Also, have high aspirations.

Number - 7 (Born on 7th, 16th and 25th of any month) "I am I"

They are an egotist. (Don't get along with no. 9) They usually achieve what they want. Very quick and often hasty in dealing with people. Intelligence is their Wild Card. Usually aren't trust-worthy(Exceptions are there). And they can't care less for it either. But the One person they trust, usually ends up mucking it up for them. They take life as it comes, but deep down inside in their tiny brain, they have an Exit Strategy.

Number - 8 (Born on 8th, 17th and 26th of any month) "Hmm, the unknown"

I have known very few no. 8 in my life, they all have had an external locus of attitude so can't really talk much about them, sorry. :( But, yeah they excel at what they do. Oh yeah, they're money minded as well. Adventure seekers. Flirtatious.

Number - 9 (Born on 9th, 18th and 27th of any month) "Fighter Cocks"

Very sensitive towards what they idolize, great lovers and even better friends. Caring is one of their super-power. Very creative and successful but are often distracted by something or the other. Cheerful and romantic, adventurous.Usually end up not living up to set expectations by people around. Because of which, are often burdened with critiques. But, they do manage to find a way out of the mess. Strong-willed. They call us fighter cocks, I prefer to call us "The Pathfinder"

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Disclaimer - The above content hasn't been plagiarized, they're my own. I took a good 1hr 15 to write this. Sorry, type this. Once again, the insight shared is solely on my observation and wasn't meant to harm any individual's sentiments.