The Black & White Thing Called Life!

This, I'm writing oblivious of the future and how things are gonna be. We've heard the saying, "The meaning of Life is Life itself". Struck by the bitter truth of Life, I began to ponder why the attachment to fellow humans when we know nothing lasts forever. This post is provoked by My Mother's tears. She cried missing her Parents, who're no more. Her words, "Until the Mother is alive, she keeps all the children together. After her time, not always the siblings stay together. They go their separate ways". I asked, "Are you missing them?". She nodded, "Yes". I let her find comfort in my hug. Tried to console her saying we can cry over it, sadly. that's all we can do. Let it all out and continue doing our work. Told her, Father and I will be there for her, yet not forever. Life teaches many things, but this part of feeling absence of someone close to our heart, is sheerly overwhelming and there's no easy way around it. Many things can be taken in a sporting stride, but the absence of our loved ones. You can live your life and be caught up with your own Jazz. Still, the S.O.A.B emotion will track and hunt you down like a merciless beast. One often succumbs to "that" feeling when they're either alone or with their loved ones. Paradoxical, isn't it? We miss, We cry for a loved one, finding a feeling of "My own" on a special person's arms. Life is a lot many thing, every situation relates to the Life as whole. Life acts as an Inanimate object wearing a Poker-face. You can think whatever you want, eventually you realize you've been having an opinion, that's all. What we think never mattered to Life. Living by our own rules would at least be a small mercy on ourselves. There's nothing we can do to 'undo" things. The cycle of Life is an inevitable one and thoughts otherwise is futile. It's against the law of nature. This is one of the many things you can't expect to have a solution for. You live your life to the fullest and forget the rest. Acceptance is the only way to embrace the bitter truth in Life. I wrote this to remind me in Future that I once had this pragmatic thought. This would snap me back to reality.

And, it happened...

It all started with a naughty misunderstanding. My best friend had signed in through her account and we chatted on Facebook. Suddenly, a reply from her side took a profane turn. At first, I thought it can't be her. Repetitive usage of cuss words assured the doubt. It was my Best Friend. Then, she came on chat and apologized. Overloading on Sorry, I asked her to calm down and assured I didn't feel bad. She breathed a sigh of relief. I'd met her once before at the same Best Friend's house. She looked lost yet calm in a strange way. Her eyes gleamed by the reflection of the street lamp. She never spoke a word. She appeared adorable the way she was.

Days passed by chatting and talking about random stuffs and the usual getting-to-know-the-other-person mode was ON. I told her about my funny past experiences with girls and how I was completely out of the "Date Zone" presently. One of the chats we exchanged on 31st October, 2011, She said "talkin' about hot girls, calm down, don't worry, tujhe mil jaegi jaldi" (Never thought it'd be her.) Gradually, she started sharing about her past and the bitter experience she tasted. I was being her confidant. The phone calls used to last more than sleep itself. Selective Nocturnal-ism happened. Listening to her woes, slowly led me to an epiphany about her character. She was by far the woman, I dreamed of having in my Life.

I filled her ears with my feelings for her over the phone. She listened. It was 8th of December. For me, it was exciting to hear her reply. The next day, we were chatting, she asked, What did you mean by liking me? I first thought, she was joking! I poured my heart out and she never understood. The horror of rephrasing my feelings stood in front of me. I was nervous, now. I gathered courage and explained it. Told her I liked her more than a Friend. Her reply was, "Okay! I don't know what to say". I confirmed, she could take Time to think about it. But, I'll look forward to hearing a "Yes". Her decision was wound by the barbed wire of The Past. I could make out. I convinced her to take a leap of faith and that I'd never let her go. She was still confused but a little convinced. After a week's Time, she said Yes! via Text Message. I called her immediately. First question I asked "really?" She gave a giggle and softly said, "Yes". The day she said that, the feeling was Insuperable. For the first time in my life, the uncertainty of future and the shadow of the past didn't cloud my decision. I knew, I made the right choice at that Time. I was elated, so was she. We're together since. As days pass by, I fall in Love with her, an inch deeper. The sentence, I Love You, was used generously and never triggered boredom. The person I met is the one in my dreams. Although, I never imagined she'd be taller than me! *sticks out tongue* But, I guess, when it comes to Love, you just don't see all that. All I can say is, I'm sure even in future, I'll look back on this day and have No Regrets of falling for this person. The wound is just too sweet when you have that special person soothing it and gently blowing air. I could sit there and watch her all day long.